Dear introverts in my life,
I know I married one of you, but I don’t understand you yet. I’m realizing all the rules to the game I’ve been charting and tracking all these years don’t apply here with you. At times this leaves me feeling confused and uncomfortable in my skin, unsure of my next move, wondering if one more email or phone call or outing is smothering you with a little too-much-love and too-often-enthusiasm. It’s a little risky over here wondering if you have the space to make me your friend. Because of course, I want you to be mine. When you’re tired, you need to keep the world at bay. When I’m spent, I need to go to the bay along with you…and as many people as I can possibly talk into coming.
I know you’re a little frustrated with me, the extrovert, because even though there is no filter to keep me from saying what I really think, just when can you tell when I’m saying what I mean? When I’ve finally landed on my point? If I’ve stopped talking, then whatever was said last, this is my truth and my platform (for now anyway, unless I was distracted by something shiny mid-sentence). Do you have more to say after this, or are you waiting for me to ask intelligent, articulate questions to draw out the rest, to show you that I’m still interested? I don’t have any intelligent, articulate questions. Those are for people who sleep. When I interrupt you, this doesn’t mean that I don’t care about hearing what you have to say. It means that the synapses in my brain are firing off connections that I deeply want to share with you for the sake of relational bonding and that I need to share with you before I orbit off into space, so my brain can be emptied and I can refocus on what you are telling me.
I know we inadvertently hurt each others’ feelings sometimes, but that is friendship no matter which way you color it and I am oh-so-thankful for yours. Please hang in there with me as I talk over you and most likely embarrass you in public in the very near future. And just so you know, I think you’re pretty swell and don’t get all the praise you deserve in our culture that recognizes and rewards the extroverts. I’ll try to put this big mouth to good use and brag on you more often.
All my love,