Saturday morning I was congratulating myself on my current sanguine state about having a newborn while wading into the murky and fickle waters of parenting a toddler. By Saturday afternoon I had considered all the things I wanted to get done before the little one comes: organize garage, decorate nursery, transition 20 month old to toddler bed, potty train said toddler, find cheap deep freeze for garage, fill said deep freeze with a year’s supply of casseroles, etc. Goodbye sanguine mom, hello slightly overwhelmed mom, but still optimistic this will all happen in time and happen smoothly.
By Saturday night my dreams were a little more honest.
Dream #1: I’m driving a friend’s red truck down a hill. A stoplight and t-junction are coming, but none of my attempts at pumping the brakes or pulling the emergency brake on are helping. We go careening through the light at 120mph and I make a wild turn at the T, while cars honk and spin-out to avoid us.
Dream #2: I’m driving again. Little silver car now and this time the route I’m supposed to be taking is all closed down so I have to go trek down a different road, which puts me on an onramp, which turns out to actually be an off-ramp for the other cars. I’m driving the wrong way down the highway and have to do some sweet Italian Job action to make things right while narrowly missing the large group of stroller-pushing moms in yoga pants out for a morning pram parade.
Dream #3: Still driving. Things seem okay until I realize that the petals are kind of far away. I can just barely reach them with tip-toes if I scooch down, but the steering wheel is tilted really weird, and I’m trying to buckle up to no avail, and something else feels really weird. Why is the distance to the front of the car so hard to judge? Oh crap, I’m in the backseat!
I looked up car dreams in the dream dictionary and here’s what it said. Car dreams are an indication of your dependence/independence and the degree of control you have on your life. Having trouble with seat belts means you’re worried about the future. Speeding and viewing your speedometer represents your pace of life, how hard you are driven to complete something, and that things are moving too fast.
I don’t think I really needed help clearing any of that up. Those symbols seem pretty obvious.
Now I’m no dream interpreter expert, but when I woke up Sunday morning I had to admit that maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me that I don’t feel quite so in control or easy-going about the changes in our life as I thought. My positive attitude has just been giving myself pep-talks, but at the core this all feels out of my hands.
But God, so good with knowing what I need put this verse in front of me Sunday morning:
“God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”
The truth is that the steering wheel isn’t in my hands and it doesn’t need to be! Knowing that God is faithful makes careening down this road both exhilarating and trusted. Life, here we come!