Five years ago when Nate and I were dutifully and eagerly sitting through our premarital class (respectively), the facilitator enthusiastically announced to everyone that ONE couple was completely opposite in every category and on every spectrum of the Myers Briggs personality assessment we had recently taken and wasn’t that fun! That one couple was us. Nate is an ISTJ. I’m an ENFP.
Essentially this means that…
Introverted – Recharges his batteries through alone time.
Sensing- Gathers information through facts and details
Thinking- Makes decisions based on logic
Judging – Works in a linear, methodical, scheduled path
(Nate likes to joke that this last one boils down to the fact that he makes sense and I don’t. To him and other ISTJ’s, I’m sure that is true.)
Extroverted- Recharge through socializing
INtuitive- Gathers information conceptually through chunks
Feeling – Makes decisions based on feelings and how those choices will affect relationship with others
Perceiving – Works in bursts of inspiration/passion
This personality typing stuff just fascinates me. I don’t think we can put all our eggs in this one basket to try to explain ourselves or use it as an excuse to justify poor behavior, but it does shed a lot of light on how we do daily operations.
I was recently reading about our two types and came across the following explanations. ENFP’s: “In love relationships they are intensely loyal but are often looking to make the relationship a little better or think its not quite what it could be.” That’s so me. ISTJ’s:”In love relationships the ISTJ is a strong believer in taking responsibility. They also say the things they mean. Often they are accused of being uncaring but they view the benchmark of commitment by actions and not words.” That’s so Nate.
Opposites attracting is not a new phenomenon. But why does it happen? Surely it isn’t just some cosmic joke, but a God-ordained plan. Apparently Nate and I need a lot of our rough edges smoothed out, because trying to live well in a marriage with someone who receives, processes, and expresses life differently than the way you do it can be a very grating and baffling thing! (And we’re not even opening the can of proverbial worms surrounding the fact that he is a man and I am a woman.) But Nate and I both love the way the other was made! I may never understand how parties can be so draining to him and he may never understand making decisions based on anything and everything but logical data. Just doing daily life together and trying to appreciate those God-crafted differences instead of strangling one another is a pure act of worship! Although we may not fully understand the why’s of eachother, there isn’t a chance we’d change one another. We are definitely a couple of opposites with strong polar attraction. Love you babe!